Christmas 2012

First let me explain.

Last year was a little wacky around December time. When it was all said and done, my kids opened presents at three different locations. I am not saying this to complain but to explain the "wearing a different outfit but still opening more presents" pictures. Yes, I had hopes to raise children who would function in this world but clearly all is lost now.

We had Christmas Eve Eve at Nini and Pappy's, Christmas Eve at Mema's, and Christmas morning at our own house.


How to start Christmas Eve Eve right?

1. throw in some cute kids (extra points for a tie)

2. Add a newlywed Auntie and Uncle

3. A sprinkling of grandpa

4. And the piece de resistance, the rest of the gang all showered and looking good
(Shelby already has her Christmas game face on... "Preeeseeennntzzzz")

Johnny Manziel's Number! 

Please note: this is the last time you will see this shirt clean and NOT on his body.

Matching doll PJs! Apparently they sell them in mom sizes too. They don't include that in the mail out catalogue because the last thing anyone wants to do is have a throw down about matching pjs with their daughter. NOT a client builder. It IS on the website however. I guess they figure by the time your kid can navigate the web the mommy/daughter pj-fest desires have died along with the image of your dad as the strongest man in the world and the idea that your mommy looks pretty in the mornings.

Oh good! A book that plays a song! The same song! Over and over!

Had I only known that I would be waking up to the sound of dice for weeks to come...

I think his muscles look bigger in that shirt. Definitely!

I guess I'll put my doll in the matching pj's (since my mother doesn't really love me)

Christmas Eve at Mema's

Shelby finds her doppelganger.

Goodie! More music for the one year old!

Wyatt gets his first real bike! Mema rocks!

Actual Christmas Morning (yes. the parents are flagging but the kids are going strong.)

Rapunzel Barbie. 

Every girl mom reading this just suppressed a shudder. We all know five days from now with all that hair she's gonna look more like Meth Barbie (sold in the shady alleyway behind ToysRus)

Only in Texas...

His face is the caption.

Sorry Walker. I didn't think through the consequences of this particular gift.

And, no Christmas photo montage would be complete without the yearly dog carnage. Moose, for some inexplicable reason, bumped the lid off a rubbermaid container full of packed ornaments and opted to chew up a few. Good thing he only got the Christopher Radko ones.

He might have napped for part of Christmas morning but he woke up ready to dominate the karaoke machine! Not afraid to fight for his spot in the family limelight.

2012 was a smashing success! 

Bring on 2013!

A not so silent weekend

My sweet, wonderful husband offered to watch the kids while I went on a silent retreat one weekend (I know it sounds strange but I promise no gutteral chanting or yoga moves were involved.) As I am driving home Sunday, I call home to get the full briefing from my daughter.

"[lots of chatting] and then Wyatt went to the dentist and got a balloon and a sticker [more chatting]"

Wait. What?

Seth then gets on the phone and just tells me to get home and he'll give me the full run down. After I get home, Wyatt walks down the stairs and...

Well, we shall refer to this as the "before" picture:

After:

Yup. Ol Wy managed to ricochet his bat off a PVC pipe that fateful Saturday morning. Seth ran over to him and thought he had a cut on his hand only to realize he was holding his tooth...his entire tooth-root and all. Shelby proved to be made of "sterner stuff" during this crisis and ran for paper towels to mop up the blood now covering Wyatt. Off to the emergency pediatric dentist--Yeeha!

Here's a picture of the DENTIST! 

(I know she looks high schoolish to me too! Sign #117 that I am clearly getting older.) 

Sainted Seth still managed to keep the other kiddos alive AND clean <----bonus p="">

A few more shots to be sure that you get to see what I did when I got home...

Mema even brought him some special treats & a game

Shelby's reaction to all the gore 

(kidding! She was a champ!)

Just another weekend in the life of the Landrys!

What I saw when I turned the corner...

Is it too much work to walk five steps inside and use the toilet? 

The glare off his white hiney is blinding.

Cousins

Not sure if this has occured at your house but cousins hold celebrity status in ours. My kids are far more interested in what their cousins are eating (I want some too!), wearing (instant cool factor!), and doing (me too!) than anything Justin Bieber or some other doomed child star might be. So when the grandparents offer to take the four oldest to Millican its pretty much guaranteed that the kids will have a great time (and sleep the next 24 hours solid when they get home). 

Happy happy happy

They are the cutest things!

"Should we touch it Wyatt?"

"Na. Let's just watch it slowly asphyxiate."

"Great idea....Good times."

Catfish: There theems to be thomthing in my noth.

Good eatin' tonight!

Mac Man

Passed out with a dirt-encrusted face. Must have been fun!

And we must save the best for last...

School Carnival 2013

When I think back to my school carnival growing up two images pop up: confetti eggs and the ping pong ball game where you could WIN A GOLDFISH! (Needless to say this was the parents' favorite game as well). 

I mean, think about it. You could find your best, most treasured friends and smash confetti-filled eggs on their head. It's the elementary version of "I love you man!" The more loved you were the more confetti you had plastered to your sweaty face (and the more Advil you needed later). And the goldfish game, well, I probably don't need to tell you why this caused frenzied excitement amongst us little people. Hello! It was a way to circumvent the parents! 

kid: I want a fish

parent: no

kid: I won a fish

parent: crap

As an animal-crazed child I was thrilled to have any sort of animal beneath my careful husbandry. Unfortunately, with a younger sibling, their long term survival rate waaaaas not so good. I never got to reach the point where my mom had to nag me to scrub the bowl. They were long gone to the big toilet in the sky by then. I simply rinsed out the bowl and awaited next year's victim...errr..fish.

Well, the fish game has been axed. (I heard vague whisperings of a parent uprising and some tank scum smeared on protestors bodies but these are all, of course, rumors...) I am glad so say that the annual ritual of attempting to concuss your very best friend still remains. Shelby might need a few more years to embrace this particular aspect of the carnival. Her bent is more towards the tamer entertainments of the carnival.

1. Sugar! (let's call it "dinner" kids)

2. The Petting Zoo 

The only way to pry my kids away from the animals was with more sugar. 

Vicious cyle.

It's a miracle he still has all five fingers...

Katy Rodeo Night

Katy Rodeo Night. What a fun night with the family.

What could possibly go wrong?

It all began well. Kids dug up their city slicker hats, and I put the most rugged outfit I could find on our 18 month old (which was a turtleneck with a Moose in a tent. Yes, I realize this was a sad attempt at "country" but have I mentioned that I've really let go here people?). Then we went to McDonalds where Shelby got a Barbie Happy Meal toy.

The joy trajectory shot up after that one.

And then, the fatal error.

We decided to go pet the animals BEFORE buying our tickets. La de da let's take our time and teach the kids the pig names (Blue Butt was the favorite breed. Shocker.). Then...

 A DISASTER OF EPIC PROPORTIONS

(sweet innocent family totally unaware of their fate)

SOLD OUT!

Our kids stood there looking a little confused. Like this was some sort of joke b/c they all had their gear on. Think quick mom! Let's go to the carnival kids!

We walked all the way over only to realize (dum dum duuummmmm) it was a cash only operation and all I had was a credit card. 

So there our kids stood. No rodeo. Staring at all the flashing lights with hints of funnel cake and cotton candy tickling their noses. 

The joy trajectory has completely bottomed out and begins to slide into dangerous territory.

And here is where I reach my finest (or lowest depending on how you view it) moment. Before they are completely unreachable at the bottom of the child angst spiral, I make them an offer.

Hey, kids how about I go buy you something at Target?

Moaning stops.

Joy trajectory ceases it's downward slide.

I begin to paint a picture of the wide, glistening aisles full of innumerable goodies from which they may choose.

Twenty minutes later we are headed home with a Fancy Nancy book and a Ninja Turtle T-Phone.

Not exactly the night I had envisioned but all was well in the end. Lesson learned for next year.

Wyatt the next day:"This horse is as tough as a nut."

We "Tri"ed really hard last weekend...

...and now we are tired.

...

First of all, let me state that my daughter requested this triathlon herself. As a matter of fact, I told her "no" until she could ride her bike without training wheels. Two weeks later, she is training wheel free and lining up for her open water swim. 

In a lake. 

That was brown. 

By herself.

Yes, my six year old hopped in without any hesitation (once I told her there were no fish in it which was a lie hard to maintain once we got there and multiple people were fishing on the other bank...)

Headed to the water here. She was the last in line b/c she had no official time (translation: every other child in the event had already done this before and therefore had a time.)

Fearsome Competitor!

She's off!

I wonder if her curls caused any drag in the water...

Burnin' up some rubber!

(It was during the biking portion I observed two things: Shelby is getting a little big for her bike and there were some kid bikes out there that were NOT from Walmart or Academy if you know what I'm sayin')

I straight up was having to fight back tears as she crossed the finish line. 

And now (drumroll please)... Mommy's Triathlon!


Me and my training partner (whose crazy idea it was to run the tri in the first place and has given me serious cause to question our friendship during the month of August).

I feel the need to also mention that Genevieve is nursing her THIRD child who is 6 MONTHS OLD! I personally feel she deserves a special medal.

Nothing makes the other triathletes quiver in their shoes like a "selfie" before the race. 

(BTW do you see the gal's hinney on the right photo bombing our pic?)

Let me give you the play by play from here on out along with the lessons I learned...

The Open Water Swim-

Before June, my major (and only) stroke was the "I don't want to get my hair wet" mom stroke. That means I've been freestyling for approximately 3 months at the time of the tri. I mention this so you may grasp that my less-than-fluid state in the water made me panic just a wee bit. Now might also be the time to mention, dear readers, to NEVER use the port-a-potties near the swim entrance. 

Like ever. 

Trust me on this one.

Anyway, I swam the 400m mostly breast stroke since every time I put my head down to freestyle I ended up off course. Apparently that line in the lap pool was more important than I realized.

The Bike:

I got about halfway through the 12m course when I may or may not have shifted wrong and caused my chain to fall off. Since my last bike was a banana seat, I have also been learning how to shift gears this summer as well. Apparently this is still a work in progress.

Fortunately, the bike crew patched me back up and sent me back on my way with a minor delay that didn't concern me in the slightest. At the end of the race, Seth was so upset for me that I had worked so hard only do have the chain come off and delay my time during the biking. To which I replied, "I'm a winner!"and trotted off to the car to pet my medal. 

(This, of course, became the running joke for the next two days as Seth marveled at how different we were. But really, I birthed three kids, trained through the Texas summer, learned to swim, learned to ride a road bike, and finished the triathlon. I felt like a winner even w/o the trophy. If we start subtracting minutes for each child birthed, I bet I could have been top ten...just sayin')

The Run:

So after you swim and bike then you get to run a 5k! Yay! While I am no speedster, I was definitely most comfortable here as I couldn't drown or break equipment. However, I should mention that it was hot this Labor Day and the run started around ten o'clock. My original time goals for the run devolved into a) don't walk b) don't hog all the ice sponges at the mile intervals. Both of these new goals severely tested my willpower, but I prevailed so that the lovely picture could be taken below on the homestretch. 

"I'M A WINNER!"*

(The lemon yellow tri suit was cause for many an envious stare let me tell you.)

At home and feeling good!

Uh oh, lack of electrolytes are showing...Questionable decisions are being made

*in my mind at least.