Thursday, February 11, 2010

The Art of Eating a Cake

Step 1:
Assess maximum wind trajectory...



...from all angles. (*It is important to note that the assessment should not take so long that Cinderella's face begins to resemble the ghoulish and troubled sibling of a Willowtree figurine)



Step 2:
Blow. (*Another important note: This seemingly simple task must be done so that a. all the candles are blown out in one gust thereby saving yourself the shame of a still lit candle while simultaneously arousing doubts of your lung capacity and b. while ensuring total candle blowouts, there is no excess spitting created thereby rendering the cake inedible to the party goers)



Step 3:
Anticipate the delights of the sugary confection while simultaneously avoiding thoughts of the subsequent sugar coma.



Step 4:
Shove as much cake into your mouth as quickly as possible. Hey, it's like survivor over here at our house when the baked goods get whipped out. Shelby comes from a long and glorious line of sugar gluttons. (Just ask Mommy's suite mates who always puzzled over the rapidly diminishing York Peppermint Patties supply).




And that my friends is how a cake is properly eaten.