Wednesday, March 23, 2011

#2 on aisle 7

So...I have tried really hard. Really, really hard. Every sensible bone in my body says I am being silly and it is the wisest choice. But it all comes down to one emotion.

I hate our local Wal-mart.

Up until now it has just been based on stories of gang activity in the parking lot, insane drivers, incompetent workers, terrible parking, and smooshed grapes littering the produce area. Yet the prices ARE the lowest.

But now I have all the ammo I need to assuage my former guilt. Prepare yourselves readers. Put down what you are eating because our horrific tale begins on a lovely breezy afternoon not unlike today...

Hubby and I loaded up our two kids to go in search of "Woody" sunglasses for our two year old son. He kept fighting with his sister over her princess ones so it was clearly time for his own. Hubby, who had no problem with the local Wal-mart, suggested we look there as he needed some sporting clays as well. Upon our arrival and mile trek to the front door, a pair of Toy Story sunglasses were found and comfiscated by our son. On to the hunting aisle and where our casual afternoon takes a dark and squishy turn.

I was tagging behind since my companions A) have legs two feet or less in length and B)discovered the toy aisle. The timing could not have been more perfect as I turned to meet hubby in the hunting aisle only to see the look of total shock on his face followed by a strong whiff of the problem.

He had stepped in a log of poop.

Human poop.

Trust me. We know what animal poop looks and smells like at our house and this wasn't it!

I would have found the situation pretty funny except for a couple of facts:

1. I could smell it.

2. I was driving my car.

I will spare you the subsequent nausea-inducing details of getting home and hosing down the offending shoe.

Let's just end our story on the happy note that a few extra dollars at Target is worth not stepping in a log of human feces.

The End.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Wyatt's Princess Party

One of Wyatt's sweet little preschool friends invited him to her party. Now he is the only boy in his class so you can go ahead and assume that the party was not full of camo or anything of that ilk. Yep, pinkity-pink princess ruled the day. Wyatt felt right at home since he already knew all their names. Shelby would be so proud. She has trained him well.



Here is why I never have to worry too much about Wyatt falling down the stairs or leaping from the roof...





Ta-da! Dismount solved! No double-bounced facial carpet burn for him. He even started a trend as all the other kids thought it looked like great fun.





A proud moment for us all as Wyatt fans his princess plate shouting "Aweel" (translation: Ariel).

Re-Discovery

I have come up with a brilliant way to save money and prevent clutter build up.

Hide your kid's toys.

Case in point. Shelby's sunglasses had fallen between the cracks of the seat where they communed with a stale chicken nugget and a broken princess earring for, let's say, a few months.

Stop being grossed out at the 3 month old chicken nugget under my seat. You are really getting bogged down with unimportant details and my son went through a little projectile anti-nugget phase ok?!

Anyway, after a cleaning of my car, the re-discovery process happened. Despite the dust accumulated in the edges and the chipped white daisy on the side, the glasses had magically become new again!

No need to spend money or endure the agony of the Target princess aisle. Ta-da! Instant "new" toy. Now, some parents may selectively choose toys to disappear, but I say why add another thing to your to do list when they select themselves so readily. Instead, every few months clean out your car/couch/closet/miscellaneous drawer, etc. and "Voila!".



Pics with her "new" glasses

"Is this how Fancy Nancy wears them?"-her exact question :)




*sigh*
"I know I make it look easy but it really can be lonely at the top."